Dating someone who doesnt ask out on weekend Chat with dirty sluts
If she won’t do #1, then I’d lean strongly toward you doing your part of #2, and stressing to your boss that you’re committed to handling this professionally and pleasantly.Here are some signs that might indicate that you are dating a psychopath. You might get mad at people for trying to convince you to break up with your partner, or make excuses for your partner because you are convinced that you are the only one that understands him or her. He or she feels entitled to act the way that they do.Worst case scenario, it could be aggressively inaccurate.Ultimately I think it comes down to this: You know her from being intimately involved with her for a year.If she’s unable to work with someone she used to date, that’s on her, not on you — and in a well-functioning company, she’d be expected to either conduct herself professionally or remove herself from the situation. And if she is a powerful rainmaker type or otherwise highly valued, it’s more of a risk.And if you’re truly junior to her, a well-functioning company would have real concerns about legal ramifications of pushing out a junior person for getting involved with a senior one (it’s not inherently illegal for an employer to do that, but it would create risks around potential harassment allegations, for one thing). So it’s not that there’s no danger to you, but I’ve got to wonder about her motives in framing it that way to you.
If you are a peaceful person, you might find yourself constantly fighting. You feel like there is something seriously wrong with you. You might say that you aren’t comfortable staying overnight together–your partner does so anyway. He or she might get upset–especially if you try to break up with them or say that you are leaving–however, there is no underlying remorse for hurting you. He or she might say that they are sorry if they hurt you (hit you, scream at you, cheat on you…etc.) and promise that it will never happen again, but their apology is more manipulative than sincere. They might speak badly about a previous partner, claiming that their previous partner was crazy, or a bitch, or an asshole.
The relationship has never impacted our work situation or job performance in the past — we have always remained professional — but it looks like it might now.
In order to give herself the space and distance she says she needs to get past this, she feels that she needs to not have me work on her projects moving forward, or at least for the time being.
So unless there’s some key detail missing here about your company being one of the few old-fashioned hold-outs that still forbid dating, then either (a) your company won’t really care or (b) your ex is the one who should get in trouble, and that might be why she’s pressuring you to keep it quiet.
And for what it’s worth, her point that you would be easier to remove from the team if they wanted to remove one of you is awfully self-serving.That’s not usually a scandal as long as both people remain professional at work, and as long as they don’t issue “I won’t work with Fergus” ultimatums.